I UNDERSTAND - by Nick Curnow

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I UNDERSTAND - by Nick Curnow

Post by Admin on Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:35 pm

NOTE: The original poem had quite a distinct structure to the lines and layout which was intended as an extra layer of meaning, but I can't replicate it on this forum. Let me know if you'd like to see the original!


I understand. (4-6th September 2015)

A breath... ebbing... ebbing like the waters
of the Nile with the seasons
to reveal black sands; rich soil.
  A breath... But here all withers,
  decays, no fertility pushes forth
  new greenness. I rot.
  No promise of renewal
  or continuation.
  The waters of the sky or beneath
  the earth are imaginings.
  None ever answered my questions.
  My question.
     A breath...

     She holds my hand, he stands
     at the foot of the bed, incapable.
     A breath... I’m holding on
     to what? Surely whatever it is
     is not needed anymore.
        A breath...
        I’m holding...
                          sand.

Suddenly, my chest lightening for the first time
in a lifetime – an unseen stone is lifted, no more
knot of gristle struggling to unwind.
A fist long held delicately
unclenches, sand slips free.
I am up... I am Up.

She holds my hand, he stands
at the foot of the bed, incapable even
from above. No breath... I am Up.
I am moving
out the open window, across
the city... other cities...? other oceans, maybe.
Each building I see now as
the ibis must. Places within
the greater place, their separation only illusion.
The dunes I dip low over.
The edges of light crisp. Definite.

Into the air, the sky, the horizon
is new to me. The meeting point is
now a vanishing point.
I fall into the Sun.

Light. Limitless light.
Unending light then
nothing. Or, Nothing. Or, darkness?
A glimmer far below.
Approaching... approaching...
Light? Is it... light?

The desert at night, lit by
a bonfire upon the frozen sands,
banishing Nothing.
Or, darkness?

Now, a figure there.
His face, his hands, I’ve seen
Him. Where have I seen him?
His face, his hands
pointing. Into the fire.
His face, eyes of a jackal, knowing... knowing...

Into the fire!
Nothing (or, darkness?)
presses against the Light. Reaching, craving,
held back. Not for them.
They beat at the lightest curtain blowing
in a wind they do not believe exists.
Into the fire.

No. Not now. Now is for knowledge.
A question.
Always asked without asking, without speaking.
Into the fire!

No. That question. It’s that question.
What is the question...?
They taught me... well they never knew anyway.
The question. Now I can... Know. I can... ask...

No.
Why?
No answer?
No question.

I am pulled, tumbling
into the fire.

The fire... the fire... fire...
a tunnel of fire...
my self falling... falling... stretching
out thinner. All I am
was
ever will be
do
see
dream
hope sorrow lust
speak taste revile reject
love lose embrace
swear abjure free restrain
seek obtain
crave abstain fear
take hope destroy endure
impart
desire
is now
everything...
across everything...
everything is...
I am...

I understand.

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Re: I UNDERSTAND - by Nick Curnow

Post by Admin on Fri Sep 18, 2015 8:18 am

great work, Nick. I was really drawn in and felt the entire thing.

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Re: I UNDERSTAND - by Nick Curnow

Post by Lily Fenley on Sat Sep 26, 2015 11:27 am

This was excellent. I couldn't stop reading once I started this.

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Re: I UNDERSTAND - by Nick Curnow

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